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Thursday, January 17, 2013

"I am late middle-aged, not an idiot!"

Iain Graham writes:

“I am late middle-aged (ok I’m 62), not an idiot!”

This is a phrase I seem to be using more and more frequently, either out loud to bright young things or silently to myself in utter frustration of modern ‘must have’ gadgets.

I am almost starting to believe there is a conspiracy between the companies who produce such items: smartphones, smart televisions, tablets, sat navs and even widening this now to every kitchen ‘white goods’ appliance that seems to have the need to be able to tell the time, require an internet connection, beep annoyingly at regular intervals and have a control panel considerably more complicated than that on Apollo 13!

This conspiracy is aimed at alienating and confusing my generation – and started with the introduction of the home video recorder back in the seventies. How many consumers ever used the full functionality of even that considerably simpler device?  Likewise now, how many people use all the programs on their washing machine, all the buttons on their microwave, every key on their (three!) remote controls for their TV/Blu-Ray/surround sound/satellite system that now inhabits the corner in most people’s living room?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go back to the ‘good old days’ of black & white TV and fixed-line phones. I love what modern gadgets potentially bring to educate, enlighten and improve our lives, I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO USE THEM without feeling I need to enrol as a mature student in a Cambridge University course for advanced physics!  (Other universities are available).

“What do you want?” I hear you cry. “Not a lot” is the answer. First of all, an acceptance and understanding from manufacturers and retailers that my generation is undergoing the biggest growth rate of all age segments. There are more and more of us and we are living longer. To alienate us is to turn your back on a huge market. Secondly, STOP BEING PATRONISING!!  Mobile phones with oversized buttons and a direct line to Help the Aged in the memory is NOT the answer.

Let’s start with the instruction books. A basic fact is, if the device needs an instruction book that makes War and Peace seem like a weekend read, this means the device is too complicated (despite the 18-year-old shop assistant’s assurance that “the man-to-machine interface is entirely intuitive”). Maybe it is to him and his colleagues who form part of a demographic that can still ask “well, who were the Beatles?”  It certainly is not to me and many more, and we are made to feel stupid and dim-witted if we question this. So to avoid this embarrassment we either don’t purchase the device or, worse still, buy it, take it home and worry ourselves that should we make a mistake in trying to use it, we will commit irreversible damage to either the device or our precious data. I was brought up with a simple acronym, KISS, which stands for Keep It Simple Stupid. We could do worse than return to this blissful state.

That’s enough for now, time for my medication and a cup of Ovaltine whilst I try to take the wrapper off my new toothbrush. That, however, is another story.

In future articles I will delve deeper into the problems I see and find as I wrestle with individual devices associated with modern living.

Iain Graham is the regular host of The Fonecast, a weekly look at the major news stories affecting the mobile phone industry. You can find each week’s programmes on iTunes, via RSS or by using the podcast player on this website.
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Opinion Articles

Hotel phone charges demonstrate the value of packing your mobile

Mark Bridge writes:

I like hotels. Free biscuits in your room and all the portions of UHT milk you can drink. But the phone calls... that's a different story.

Dearie me, you're paying for that hospitality tray when you pick up the phone.

Author: The Fonecast
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Charlie Chaplin, a mobile phone and a time-travel mystery

Mark Bridge writes:

A Charlie Chaplin DVD includes an image of a woman using a mobile phone in 1928.

That’s the suggestion surrounding a YouTube clip that’s currently received more than 2½ million hits since it was posted online last week.

Author: The Fonecast
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Why the Sat-Nav Application Model is Broken

James Rosewell writes:

Most Sat-Nav applications are now obtained via the Application Store used on the mobile phone. Navigon have gone so far as to remove access to their application via any other route. Application Stores are now the only choice. This move to a platform-specific sales model is a massive mistake.

Author: The Fonecast
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Come on, Steve Jobs – why don't you attack a few more mobile companies?

Mark Bridge writes:

Mark Zuckerberg's girlfriend breaks up with him acrimoniously. So off he goes and creates Facebook. Yes, there's nothing like an insult to fire up the creativity. Well, that's certainly what the plot of The Social Network would like you to think.

And, you know, it's got a point. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that sticking two fingers up at the opposition seems to be the new way of doing business.

Author: The Fonecast
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The positive cult of giffgaff

Mark Bridge writes:

Wouldn't it be great if mobile customers loved their networks so much that they'd fight for them?  Ofcom would be inundated with complaints from O2 users about its decision not to allow GSM frequencies to be used for 3G services. Vodafone customers would demand that Nokia pre-loaded the N8 with a Vodafone 360 application. Orange users would be sending petitions to radio stations, asking them to implement HD Voice on phone-ins. And giffgaff users would take to online forums to defend the service they receive.

Oh, hang on. That last one's already happening.

Author: The Fonecast
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A month of mobile: O2 counts on 3, Microsoft counts to 10 and Apple counts its profits

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